Cat ladies and nasal spray


Based on my day, I have concluded that there are four kinds of people who clearly want to be left alone:

  1. Rude people clearly don’t want to be around humans
  2. People who own 12 cats
  3. People who use nasal spray on the train
  4. Women who are standing in the wind clinging to their dresses for dear life so they don’t flash the world

First, nothing sends the message that you don’t want me near you like breaking out the nasal spray on the train and whining, “OMG I can’t breathe!” Seriously- I can’t breathe either, but mostly because of the panic attack you induced.

I moved seats only to sit next to the cat lady…she was covered in pet hair. Maybe that’s why the poster child for Allegra was sharing his germs with society.

It was a busy day, and the sun was shining, it looked absolutely beautiful outside. I decied that I would take advantage of the gorgeous weather and walk to the Plaza to get lunch of some sort. Today I was in the mood for something new, so I trekked to the food court.

Losing weight has a way of making women feel confident and on top of the world. We wear cute (modest) dresses and boots. The nice day I told you about— it wasn’t nice at all…. it was warm, it was sunny but it was also Chicago kind of windy outside. I secured my dress in place with a hand on either side holding the hem down in place so that I didn’t end up on “The People of Downtown Dallas”. I walked down the street, I choked as I passed through the smoker section of the sidewalk and as I coughed I aspirated the hair that was blowing into my mouth. I stood on the street corner (in an non-hooker kind of way) at the crosswalk, recovering from my choking on my own DNA and gripping my skirt. I hear a car horn honk several times, and looked over to see a guy waving at me like Forrest Gump waves- like an idiot. Seriously???? Does this seem like an opportunity to strike up a conversation? Do I look approachable? Does it in any way appear that I can wave back at you right now??????? Before screaming at him, I looked down to make sure I wasn’t standing in the street. You know, in case my hair being blown in my line of sight prevented me from knowing I was in danger, and maybe that’s why he’s honking… but no luck. He is really just an idiot. He screams out the window, “You look nice today!” Apparently my line was not, “are you freaking kidding me right now?” It wasn’t my line, but that is all I had left in me.

Mark me down on the list of unapproachable people, at least when I’m fighting to save my dignity. More wardrobe malfunctions from Andi On A Train.


About Andi

This chapter in my life is called, "Managing Millennials". People always say that I have a way with words, and that I am great at managing Millennials. The secret truth to my success? I worked at a public high school. I was an educator that specialized in behavior and building relationships. So what happens when the sweet little kids that inspired me to sponsor clubs, put in extra hours and spend my own money all enter the workforce???? They drive you crazy! I can help! I understand why these participation trophy earning young adults are driving you crazy in the work place. I understand that the fact that we are inheriting a technology talented pool of workers that sit at their desk with ear buds in their ears and celebrate medicocricy in the name if effort. I understand that you are not used to emojis and GIFs in business communication, and that you don't want to stand around on a break discussing memes, vines, YouTube epic fail videos and what you binge watched on Netflix. I once told my students that they would learn to follow my rules because I refused to be miserable for the next 1488 hours of my life. Ninety percent of the time... They did. Now, I tell my millennials that same thing, "Welcome to the workforce. There are policies and procedures in place that will help us get along for the next 2080 hours of our lives." Welcome to my blog, "Let The Managers Say Amen."

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